Cozy Country Corner

Do not copy, reproduce or otherwise share this content without express permission by the author. 2008/2009

cozy country corner ...

Nine out of ten I find myself repeating behaviors, speech, actions ... just this once I want to recreate myself into a unique and desirable creature ... I want to be the person I would be if I was the utmost I could be. -bd

I suppose to a child I seemed too complicated and therefore not interesting. I had given it my best shot. What I failed to realize was that my expectations were much too high. They were barely 5 and 6 years old and I was asking them to think like 30 year olds. Not likely. Their little heads nodded back and forth from left to right as they took in my full height with their precious little (now glazed-over) eyes. Once they seemed to have me in focus they dismissed me as if I were the most boring thing on earth.

My heartstrings uttered a very loud "thwang" as one almost broke but quickly readjusted itself.

My little minions had finally (and rightfully) grown past their enchantment with mommy and were now turning their attentions elsewhere. Lulu had just that very day experienced her first day of kindergarten. I suppose I had experienced it as well with Ms. Abigale here at home but on a different level. I wanted to take 2 excedrin and climb into bed. Lulu couldn't help, in her excited chatter, sharing every nuance of her day with her little sister. Abigale was all ears. She quickly left the arms of her mommy to give her sister the full-on attention she felt was deserved. I watched the two of them with their springy little curls bouncing all over their heads as they laughed, giggled, ooohhed and aaahhhed over every detail. I wanted to join in but was ever so uncalculatingly being left out. This was a reverent time of sisterhood. Mothers not allowed. That's it ... I grab the next best consoling thing in the house ... the sock monkey laying deserted on the floor by the sofa and head back to my bedroom where I am sure I can hear my pillow calling for me. Both girls have now turned the volume of their little voices into mere whispers and I am reminded that although my girls can unwittingly exclude me at times from their revelry, they are still, at other times, the most thoughtful and loving little girls in the land. No sooner had that thought left my mind than two bubbly little angels pounced onto my bed and filled my head with all sorts of 1st day of kindergarten tales ... Ms. Abigale faithfully filled in for her Lulu here and there just to make sure she gave me the full scope of details as they had been delivered to her.  Although it's true that sisters share an impenetrable bond ... there is nothing better in the world than being a mommy. :)

Slippery slopes of mud ... that's all they were. It was raining so hard that the grass beneath us ended up just soaked and as we ventured down those "harmless" little hills we began slipping and sliding and then laughing so hard our bellies hurt. I tried so hard to catch my breath but just when I felt I was on solid ground again ... off I would slide. My white slacks were now solid brown and wet to the core. My blouse was slimy and stuck to me like a second skin. As I looked around at the others in our group we all looked as if we had just taken a dunk in a mud pond. How did this happen? Five executives on their way from a penthouse board meeting simply taking a "shortcut" to a small bistro just down the way and all of a sudden we were all tumbling like little rag dolls in a torrential rain. The wind was gusting and drowning out our squeals as we fell. Five out of five of us were suddenly transformed into little children as we laughed and hollered and soaked up this sudden and spontaneous incident. What else could we do? The laughter was contagious. None of us had control of this situation. By the time we all landed at the bottom of the hill we were so choked up we could barely speak but the smiles on everyone's face spoke for us. Not one person complained of falling ... not one was hurt. Not one person remained of the five that began the descent from the top of the hill for the five who once stood at the top of the hill were professionals, dressed to the nines, full of confidence and puffed up with stature. The five who landed at the bottom of the hill were mud-covered tassel headed little kids who had just taken the ride of their lives and were basking in the wonder and surprise of it. None of us are sure why it happened but I am here to tell you it transformed us one and all. To this day I take more time with my children to see the world from their perspective and to revel in the childlike freedoms that still abound. Mud ... it sure does wonders for the "complexion"! -bd

Jesus ... never have you left my side though i was filled with judgement, filled with pride never have you closed your ears when i ranted & raved tho young in years never did you refuse to touch the heart of me you love so much never have you turned away though many times i'd gone astray your name is love; your name i know name above names, i love you so -bd

when was the last time you felt that tingle? goosebumps? your heart beat a little faster? butterflies flitted around in your stomach? when was the last time you felt your heart melt? or swell with pride? what about touch ... when is the last time someone touched you? with passion, with purpose, with a word ... a song ... a dance? i hope it was recent; for to feel is to live. -bd

the very essence of life holds within it a little treasure for everyone tho we are individuals we share many of the same components emotion, for instance; it bonds us together and stirs recognition in the most unexpected of ways at the most surprising of times -bd

Once upon a time there were homes where the mommies and daddies stayed married forever and ever. There were neighborhoods where children could romp and play to their heart's delight with no fear. Street lights coming on at dusk were a signal to go home to family time. Children took pride in their chores and tried to be the very best at what they did. Families prayed together and grew stronger for it. A child's imagination was a delightful thing ... there were no cell phones, no iPods or computers or gameboys. There were families around a board game on Friday nights or perhaps children with crayons and a blank page to color on & explore or modeling clay to be molded into all sorts of imagined shapes. Once upon a time there was peace within the home and home was where the heart was. We can not change the moral fabric of this current world we live in overnight, however, we can make an immediate change in our own hearts, in our own homes and commit ourselves to realize the true meaning of commitment, romp and play to our heart's delight with our children or our mates ... make time for "family-time" often ... direct our children and teach them the value of chores; praising them for jobs well done upon completion ... may we fill our children's time with events of value and learning instead of filling their hands with idol pieces of technology which will rob them of their rightful childhoods and last, but not least, may we all explore and mold our futures into wisps of time that glorify God. -bd

I am just a little tired of all the "girl stuff" going on in my life right now. Who knew that as you grow older more "stuff" happens to you physically than you can even imagine. Okay, I suppose I should preface this with the fact that not "that much" stuff has happened to me and I hope it doesn't however ... I am just awestruck at how so many women kind of suffer through the transition of physically going from "young" into "mid-life". It can be daunting! I would love to contribute praise about this particular subject but somehow feel that prayer would be more appropriate! lol I would like to extend an invitation to all of the readers out there to create a forum within these pages to talk about it. Anyone out there interested? Sign in to THE GUEST BOOK and blaze a trail! -bd

American Idol? Every year I hear different people say they are not going to watch this show again because there inevitably comes a part of the show where someone they think is talented more than the others is voted off by either the judges in the beginning or an ignorant America thereafter. My question upon hearing this (it just intrigues me) is "do you even vote?" and usually the reply is "no" which just cracks me up! Perhaps we just need to not have an opinion unless we are participants. After all, it's all just for folly anyway. Even the very smallest of issues in our daily lives can be reason for prayer or even dictate worthiness of praise! :) -bd

(Scott Wayne Black III) There he was ... fresh out of the "oven" and I fell in love. Head over heals in love. Love hit my heart with a luxurious "twang" and I haven't been the same since. With every grandchild, I glow, I grow ... I know that once again I have experienced a blessing beyond words. May our entire family provide him with all the love & encouragement he needs to become the happiest and healthiest little boy he can possibly be! -bd

a bit of laughter, a bit of bliss a bit of life, hit or miss a bit of sadness, a tear in the eye a bit of love felt by and by -bd	she was down, haunched on her chubby little legs ready to leap like a frog into her father's arms as he came walking across the yard acting as tho he didn't see her there and gales of giggles filled the air -bd	it's the "smallest of" in this life that brings the greatest reward -bd
She appeared old, worn-out and haggard in the face the deep wrinkles that lined her eyes told lies of her age when she walked her pace was slow and shakey; unsure it was only when she spoke; that you were caught unaware for a quiet, soft voice would come forth; carefree as feathers floating toward your ear her heart's voice, it was, and if you had the time to stop and listen you, too, could be blessed by true beauty -bd	playtime ...img src="/wahelper/GetImage?id=64707&width=69&height=75" alt="" border="0" /> when we were young, maybe you were 5 and i was 3 we would dress up like cowboys and indians (we did dress up didn't we?) and you would chase me around the house and i would always get captured and burned at the stake. ah ... memories! -bd

It's never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot

You told me not to worry about the bird bath at the bottom of the hill. You assured me that there was no way I could possibly hit it. It was dead center at the bottom of that hill. That hill which seemed like a mountain to me at the time and yet when I was last there, just 2 years ago, I realized it was barely a hill at all. You helped me to navigate my path and then you kissed the top of my head and let me go. Down that hill I sailed ... the wind blowing my hair back from my face. Exhilaration was mine for a second ... and then ... my focus on NOT hitting the bird bath seemed to steer me straight towards it. I could hear you urging me to turn my handle bars so I would turn away from it and yet ... I couldn't. I smacked that bird bath straight on. My little bike stopped instantly but my faith in you never wavered, for as you picked me up off the ground (snickering, if not out and out laughing), you were reassuring me that I was okay and I believed you. My skinned knees and elbows would be a temporary reminder of the day I learned to ride my bike. You told me how proud you were of me. You made everything okay. You always did. I miss you so! - thoughts of my father - may he rest in peace. 5/2/33 to 12/25/94 -bd

My father passed away back in 1994 on a cold Christmas morning after fighting the hardest battle he ever fought ... with an unworthy opponent ... cancer. That's right, after 3 seemingly unending months he surrendered around 11am on Christmas day. My parent's neighbor, upon hearing the news, came right away to offer his condolences to my mother with this thought, "Betty, the reason God chose today to take Gene home was to give him to Jesus as a birthday gift". Although it didn't erase our pain, it caused us to pause in the moment and feel a bit of calm. Love has a way of seeing us thru and beyond what WE feel we are capable of and transporting us to a place where God wants us to be. It is well with my soul. -bd

dance as though no one is watching you. love as though you have never been hurt before. sing as though no one can hear you. live as though heaven is on earth.

softly i heard you call my name i swayed to the music of your voice i payed attention yet all the same my path was that of another choice tears fall down my cheeks as i recall the very exact moment of it all what was i thinking when my feet went astray from your earnest beckoning there on the way when i felt in my soul all was surely lost there you hung for my pardon ... there on the cross -bd

sometimes if we don't stop to listen, stop to feel, stop to see ... if understanding seems impossible and life leaves us cold all we need do is look up remember, then forgive that which caused us sorrow and press on -bd

babies innocent precious tiny vessels just waiting for us to fill them up with knowledge hope, laughter, love, kindness, caring, gentleness, truth, and all other characteristics that will make them just as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside babies ... a true reflection of our efforts. - bd there will be many times that we will seek understanding along the way, you and i may i always hear you when you beckon me to & may you always hear me when words of wisdom that will keep you from harm's way fall upon your ears and words of love shower you enough to fill your heart -bd	how do we manage to weather the teenage years? we who now have teenagers were ourselves, once upon a time, full of conflict and emotion defiance and ignorance we once worried our parents and tried our teacher's patience   how do we lead when we too were once followers how do we succeed where others have failed   listen my friend and i will tell you this simple truth ...   LEAD by example INSTITUTE a strong moral REACT with a tender heart RESOLVE to do what is right instead of what is easy be INVOLVED QUESTION with authority INSIST on honesty BE CONVICTED and STRIVE not to enable COMMIT to saying "no" when "no" needs to be said   most of all ... LOVE   - bd	there was a quirky, catchy tune running thru my head i thought of you, of us, enough said it brought a smile to my lips to my heart ... to my soul and i longed for those times now long lost & blackened like coal   we used to dance, to play to sing at the top of our lungs then an illness came calling put a quick end to our fun   no longer the spontaneous laughter rolling forth pain lingers, loss envelopes with questions of life's worth   illnesses happen, this much i know but what happens after left me steel blue and cold   'til a quiet voice, a quirky song played in my head and for the first time since i now realize you'll never really be dead   it brought a smile to my lips - bd
a little waggly tail a long sloppy tongue just a dash of frolicking you look up at me with expectancy eager for our next step who knew such joy could be all wrapped up in a bundle of fur - bd They say great things come in small packages. This is true. Time and again it's the smallest of things in this life that bring us the greatest joy. Smiles, babies, puppies, kittens, kisses, dandelions given to us by a small child, bunnies, chocolates ... the list just goes on and on. -bd	look at you all grown up what are you ... three now? you are such a big girl i see you creeping around the corner ready to bless the teddy bears strewn across the floor with your princess wand you step so carefully in your pink "glass" slippers (wouldn't want to scare the bears) and so softly, gently ... you press your wand to the first one's head and with a concentrated look on your pretty little face you say "awise!" and i try diligently to keep the laughter inside that is trying so hard to escape   once again you teach me the simple, innocent faith of a child - bd Grandchildren ... I hear their tiny footsteps softly tap across the floor, timid and unsure at first then it seems as though I barely turn around and those tiny taps turn into sure footed sprints running here & there to & fro I remember my grandmothers Oh, how I cherished them and suddenly my arms are full of cute little curly-headed children begging for my attention and those freshly baked peanut butter cookies. Grandchildren, even in as much as I am not the grandmother that my grandmothers were to me my grandchildren only see the only grandmother I have ever been ... that they have ever had and they cherish me. Grandchildren, they bless me beyond words. I LOVE YOU JASON, JADA, TRINITY, MALIYAH, YZELL, CUBBY, SUMMER, SCOTT & NALIVIYAH -bd	h a p p i n e s s   a b o u n d s   w h e n   l o v e ' s   a r o u n d

I don't know why I feel compelled to share this story, but here goes. I must have been 13 or so when my mother took me to the theatre to see a movie that I won't mention the name of here.

However, I feel stating my age at the time is important so you will sense how very impressionable I was.

It was a narrated movie and the music that played constantly in the background was by Neil Diamond. At the time I thought it was the best movie ever ... in the history of movies! I could relate to this movie ... there was someone out there who understood me so well ... someone who had managed to capture the way I felt in a movie! I loved it and could have watched it again and again. (Didn't get that opportunity due to the fact that there were no VHS or DVD movies back then and my mother couldn't take me back to the theatre repeatedly to see it). Just having seen it one time boosted my sense of self.

Several (as in decades of) years later, my husband was out of town and I invited my daughter and her two children over for a sleep-over. Once we put the children down for the night, I suggested we watch the movie (I happened to have a copy of it that my best friend had purchased for me for my 40th birthday)! I was so excited as I had not yet watched it (I was now 44) and I thought it would be the perfect ending to a perfect day. Jasmin and I gathered up our snacks and headed off to the bedroom where we propped ourselves up on big fluffy pillows, arranged our late night snacks on our night stands and situated ourselves for the start of the show.

We didn't get three minutes into that movie before Jasmin asked, " Mom ... are there people in this movie?" I had to stop and think back a minute ... " no honey, I don't think so". The conversation that ensued was something like the following; I believe Jasmin asked me if there were only birds in the movie and I answered that I thought so but I wasn't sure. We watched for about another 10 minutes and Jasmin said (as she was pulling her blanket up to cover her eyes), "Mom ... I'm confused" ... this led to a rolling, bubbling laughter like I had never experienced before or since. Here's why. We fast-forwarded thru that entire movie and we were grossed out by a fight scene and then just cracked up when a crow called the seagull "wise-guy" and "outcast" ... and then there was a lot more film of the bird flying over the ocean and several scenes of him flying over land and then it was basically over. I believe the single biggest thing that made us laugh so hard was the fact that I remembered that movie as being a change point in my life. Seeing the movie again so many years later just made me wonder ... "what the heck was I thinking when I was 13???" Scary! I laugh now as I think of it.

I have often, since then, teased my daughter about that night and that movie. I keep asking her if she would like a copy of it. She insists that she is just fine without ever seeing that movie again. I still think the movie has merit. The music was nice. -bd

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