What is this hell on earth I must endure?
I call your name for I know you are not far from me.
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Rejection Intimidation Loss Victimization
Failure Family History Humiliation
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listen to this truth ...
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you are not alone
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God is with you
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The darkness that enshrouds me pulls me down as it increases my anxiety and takes me to a place so desolate that it feels no one has ever taken this path before me and I find myself praying within my own agony that no one ever has or ever will. You are here, I know it ... it's just that I can not feel you right now but I have faith that you are making a way for me to escape this place. I know it as well as I know you exist. My mind races with impossible thoughts, negativity, fear, paranoia, they try to grip me and drag me to the depths but I will not be conquered for they have NO PLACE here for I am a child of God and I will not be entrenched. We will stand in victory together at the end of this trial and you will embrace me and then let me soar as I experience the freedom of joy once again. It's you and me, Lord. It always has been, it always and FOREVER will be.
IF YOU WERE EVER IN A PLACE THAT YOU COULD HAVE AUTHORED THESE WORDS LET ME PRAY FOR YOU, WITH YOU ... I CARE.
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Just standing in faith
and waiting on the Lord.
So many of us are
on this path.
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Fear grips me. I can not
think past it, through it, over
or under it. Oh Lord, I
cry out to you ... do not
forsake me.
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I do not deserve
your attention Lord. I
have walked a path far
from you ... but I beg of
you Father ... pick me up
dust me off, hug me, love
me FORGIVE ME ...
embrace me, HEAL ME.
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I need you in my life ... I need you.
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So many things I don't understand.
Take hormones ... I don't get it.
They seem to be a blessing some
days, a curse others. Father, please
balance things out in my body.
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"Be with me Lord
I can not live without thee.
I dare not try
to take one step alone
I can not bear
the loads of life unaided ..."
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"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
was blind, but now I see ..."
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Deliver me Lord God, I pray this
so feverently, in Jesus' name.
Amen.
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I have forgotten how to pray
I only know I need you
My life is a mess
Please be the glue that will piece
me back together Lord. My faith is in YOU.
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