Heaven's Gate
I was young and unsure, scared and disheartened. I wanted to be excited and full of anticipation .. but the events that led to your conception and the very existence of you were less than desirable to many members of my family, not to mention my friends. In the privacy of my own home I would feel my tummy and dream of us together. I would plan secret plans that only you and I knew about. I would fight your fights, heal your wounds, share your tears, champion your causes, be your biggest cheerleader in life and I would love you as I had never loved anyone before .. and then .. then you were gone. My water broke prematurely when I was 5 1/2 months pregnant. My obstetrician had tears in his eyes when he told me that he could not detect your heartbeat. I spent hours at the hospital undergoing this test and that .. praying that you were okay. You weren't. Your heart had ceased to beat. My labor was induced and I delivered your body into this world though your soul was already with the Lord. I cried and ached for endless days. There was no solace .. until .. just a few short months later another heartbeat was detected and your sister was born 5 days shy of a full year after you. Two years later, your brother was born, then another brother 3 years after that .. then 6 years after that yet another brother was born and then sadly, just a few short years after that we had to say goodbye to another baby that didn't make it. They are all beautiful and have blessed me beyond reason and yet you, Tyson Lee Hale, you are remembered and talked about and loved by all of us still to this very day. R.I.P. baby boy!
-bd
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Baby Rory, Where do I start? I love you, sweetheart. I never once got to hold you in my arms or see your sweet face. I sang to you, told you every nursery rhyme I knew, rocked you in my womb with my hands hugging you tight. Life is so very difficult sometimes. I hope to see you in heaven one day, I imagine you bounding into my arms and hugging me tight around my neck. To this day, I miss you and think of you more often than you'd ever believe ... just wishing you were here.
-bd